I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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