omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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