So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
