I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
