I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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