Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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