I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
