I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize