I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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