I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
