I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
