Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
