I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
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Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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