im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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