I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
as a side note pls kill me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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