That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
