Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think i have two assholes
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
