would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize