You don't have asthma, your pregnant
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
whose ass print is on the piano?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
