So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
