Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
