I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
