If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Are we still banned from the library?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
