At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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