Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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