dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
