Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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