Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
