so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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