I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
