some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
