i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My ATM looks so different sober.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
