If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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