did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
