I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
