I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
