It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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