8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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