I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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