so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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