YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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