Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize