Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
