So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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