dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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