who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
