is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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