Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
