I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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