I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
