i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
