SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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