Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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