Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
