The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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