I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Your penis caused this!
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