shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
why do cheetos always look like penises
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
