you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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