I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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