dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
