If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize