I just cut my nipple shaving
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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