If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
