Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
